Mario, is there anything he can’t do? The mustached one has conquered just about every genre of video game he ventures into, nearly guaranteeing big sales and yet another franchise for Nintendo to live off of for a couple of years. He’s the Prince of Platfomers, the Baron of Brawl, the King of the Kart Track and the Monarch of Medical Puzzle Games. If Mario had a fragrance, it would be called Versatility (not to be confused with Meryl Streep’s perfume.)

One of the big questions asked about the man with the double name is: what’s next? When genre will Mario venture forth unto, dumbing it down while at the same time making it incredibly fun?

Football (or to our friends overseas: American Football) - For many, Mario’s debut on the gridiron isn’t a question of if, but when. Football is America’s most popular sport, the Superbowl is the most watched television program every year and their are millions and millions of football fans who don’t buy football games. EA has tried their darnedest to make the sport work on the Wii, but with this years edition of Madden, it feels as though they’ve copped out, giving up many of the motion controls (which I really liked) in favor of a more traditional game. Mario, nay, Nintendo would never do that. The fact is EA was so close to perfecting the motion controls in the game that to throw them out means people who have spent the past three years learning them need to start over. But enough with EA’s folly.

When it comes to Mario and sports, Nintendo (and Square-Enix for Basketball) has always been able to take a sport and break it down to it’s most essential parts. Those parts are then combined with traditional Mushroom Kingdom mayhem to create an experience that is both accessible and fun. They can even do this with boring sports *cough* Baseball *cough* to open them up to a wider audience. So when you think of Mario on the football field, imagine NFL Blitz, but with more charm and fire flowers. The game would be fast, over the top and scoreboard would regularly break 100. When building the teams, the game would follow the Mario Strikers Charged format and have choose a QB/Kicker, a running back, three wide receivers, and an offensive line. All the players would double up on defense. Of course, every QB would have a power move that all but guarantees a touch down. I imagine Mario’s would be throwing a flaming football while Bowsers would be to just power through the line. Controls for most actions would be motion controls i.e. how EA used to do it. Except without the catching motion, because that one rarely worked. And of course, the game would have to have an online mode. You may be able to get away with that with Sluggers, but not with Football.

Horse Racing - I’m actually surprised the horse racing genre isn’t better. Not because it’s an incredibly popular sport, but because it’s something that seems so easy to get right. Yet most games involving horses are aimed at young girls (because we all know, if video games have taught us anything, the only things young girls love are horses, fashion, weddings, babies and princesses). The games that actually do represent the sport of horse racing (the G1 Jockey series) usually are a mess of statistics and poor controls. Plus, the genre is just not popular in the states.

Mario has already done more for the golf and tennis genres than any other game has, so why not do the same for Horse Racing. Chances are the fan base for those other two sports watch the triple crown as well. The game would of course feature the standard set of characters from the Mario series. Peach would ride sidesaddle while Daisy would ride like one of the boys. Being a Mario game, what you ride wouldn’t necessarily have to be Horses. Yoshi are the horses of the Mario world so they would be rideable. That means Birdo would be as well. And Boshi, Chain-Chomps and Poochy. Each character would get a stable of horses to use for different events, which would include both real horse racing events as well as ones that are reminiscent of the “Dream Events” from Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games. There would be a variety of control options, most utilizing motion controls. This would include using the balance board and Wii-mote combination (balance board for steering and Wii-mote for whipping). The game should be taken online, at the least have online leader boards.

And Epona must, must be unlockable.

Train Simulation - I’m actually surprised that Nintendo hasn’t ventured into the railroad simulation yet (unless you count the upcoming Spirit Tracks…which you shouldn’t). Sure, it’s a pretty niche genre (I believe the last train simulation game to hit a Nintendo console was Lionel Trains: On Track) Mario would have no problem leaping to the top of the heap. I’m actually surprised there hasn’t been a port of any of the Railroad Tycoon games to the DS, because the system would be perfect for the games that usually end up on PC.

The game would see Princess Peach hiring Mario and Luigi to build a railway for the Mushroom Kingdom. You start out connecting all the towns to Peach’s castle, but of course Bowser would want a piece of the action and start his own competing train service. That’s were the gameplay would differ from other train simulation games and also a chance for mini-games like trying to stop Bowser from sabotaging you or racing your trains between destinations. There would also be the traditional simulation parts of the game, like making train schedules that work and fixing trains that break down (another chance for mini-games). While the game would certainly still be niche, it would be the big fish in the tiny pond and would certainly sell to people who dig those games.

Fishing - Yes, I know Mario has dabbled in fishing throughout his long career, but if there is one thing the Wii and the DS are both missing is a reel good fishing game. You would think the Wii would be up to it’s gills in them. Instead, shoppers are left to swim through the trash that currently fills the genre for both systems. It’s actually quite sad that the best fishing game that exists for the system is just a side-quest to a launch title.

One of the big things that at least one fishing game has going for it is the accessories they sell along with the software. We all known Nintendo likes to sell cheap plastic crap accessories that most games get very little use out of. A Mario fishing game would be no different with a “Official” Nintendo Fishing Rod Accessory being packed in with the game. This would solidify two things: one - Moms would think this would make a great gift for dads & two - The game would be more noticeable thanks to it’s giant box. While the game would/should contain real fish to catch in it, it would also give Nintendo a chance to expand the Mario Universes woefully limit sea life.